In a setback to Work Wives everywhere, Ann Curry was replaced by a younger model this morning on the Today Show. Curry was blamed for low ratings resulting from a “lack of chemistry” with Matt Lauer, a tightly-coiled man whose personality on the scale of entropy is absolute zero.
Arch-nemesis Tom Cruise split from his “wife” Katie Holmes in an effort to undercut any bump in ratings Matt Lauer might achieve with the announcement of this change. “You’re still glib, Matt,” said Cruise. “And you know nothing about ratings. It’s a pseudo-science.”
Curry will remain with NBC in a different capacity, secretly stock-piling incriminating information on those who engineered her ouster. Her memoir, “I Got Your Peacock Right Here,” will become a best-seller and she will ultimately buy the station, cleaning house and canning Lauer in the process.
“No more Ms. NiceGuy,” Curry will say, riding off into the sunset.